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Yesterday I was on HLN news talking about the effects ofthe Texas campus shooting. When there is a dangerous situation and people areafraid the group will tend to match and mirror that fear. This basic survivalinstinct allowed danger to be committed to the tribe. So I always teach that you must mirror withintegrity for your sake and for the sake of the person you are empathizingwith. You may have crossed your legs to match your bestfriend’s seating position or leaned in close as your sweetie and noticed that theydid the same, using matching and mirroring to get close. . Whether you realizeyou’re doing it or not, subtly mimicking people in social settings helps youform bonds and establish connections. Mirroring—copying a person’s looks,gestures and general body language is especially effective on job interviewsand dates or when we're in other SNAP first impressions (http://www.snapfirstimpressions.com)settings when you are trying to establish a rapport and develop trust.While this unconscious activity hasits benefits—imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all—newresearch reveals that unchecked mirroring can backfire.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
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