Funny Christmas Card Quotes
Neverworry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they areall 30 feet tall. - Larry Wilde
Decorate your homes with lots of mistletoe... this won't really help theenvironment... But more kissing has got to be good for world peace. - ArloGuthrie
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant thananywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing onlyone Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. - W. C. Fields
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fatguy with the suit gets all the credit. - Anonymous
“Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmasturkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... asocial being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almosthuman- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give ourrespects to its family... " - BerkeBreathed
Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard,has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the worldunder cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? - Tom Armstrong
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. - Victor Borge
You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. - RobertPaul
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very specialtime of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-oldtraditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionallydo this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopperemerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as theThree Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until itled them to a parking space. - DaveBarry
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene inWashington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't findthree wise men and a virgin. - Jay Leno
Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for payingbills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hourricher...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "everyidiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled withhis own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should! - Charles Dickens, in A Christmas Carol
The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morningis their husband. - Joan Rivers
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. - Anonymous
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Hiç yorum yok:
Yorum Gönder